I was under the impression that the journey to meet Luke’s family would start off on a wonderful note, maybe even culminating with a marriage proposal.
The relationship between Luke and I had lasted for more than a year, during which time we had both experienced professional shifts and discussed the future with open hearts.
But around midway through the journey, Luke asked me to do something that I couldn’t believe: he wanted me to appear to be Japanese rather than Chinese in order to please his grandmother, who he said had a preference for Japanese women.
He portrayed it as something that was not harmful, strategic, and even made a promise that it might provide a significant bequest.
Still, what he was actually asking was for me to forget who I was and to give up my identity in return for the possibility of gaining anything for myself.
My response was a cool “no.” Not for the sake of money, not for the sake of love, and not even for someone I had once envisioned spending the rest of my life with, I could not lie about where I came from.
I was welcomed with warmth and generosity by his family when we arrived, and for a brief period, I really considered the possibility that everything had been a mistake.
However, as his mother was asking about my name at dinner, Luke abruptly entered the discussion in order to direct it toward his dream.
In addition, when dessert arrived, he raised his glass to me and said, “Japanese, just like Grandma always dreamed she would be.”
That was the moment when everything that was going on inside of me came together.
My voice was not heard.
I stood up, revealed the truth, and made it quite plain that I would not be involved in a deception — not for his grandma, not for him, and not for any amount of inheritance.
I was taken aback by Sumiko, who is his elderly grandma.
It was in a low voice that she pointed out Luke’s deception and affirmed that she had never been concerned with race but rather with character.
Her comments have a reassuring effect. But they were not able to repair the harm that Luke had caused.
During that evening, I packed my belongings.
The fact that Luke did not make any attempt to stop me may have provided me with all the information I needed on what we really had.
I was sitting by myself at the airport the next day, with a container of dumplings on my lap. These dumplings were comfort food from home, and they were still warm.
I wasn’t completely shocked. I had no restrictions.
In reality, Luke never observed me.
There was a version of myself that could bend, adapt, and execute that he saw.
I also came to the realization that love, genuine love, should not need you to transform into someone else.
It should acknowledge and respect who you are as a person. There will come a day when I will find someone who will not only love me but will also see me.
Also, they will never ask me to conceal myself. It is going to be the beginning of something that is genuine.
