There are several reasons why couples choose to go their separate ways and remarry. But most of the time, it’s because the relationship didn’t work out for both of them. But no matter what the reasons are behind the couple’s decision to go their own ways, they should both fulfill their obligations to their children from their previous marriage, regardless if they choose to remarry or not. But when couples remarry, things can get complicated on the part of the new partner, who might not always agree with the family setup from his/her partner’s previous marriage.
A 39-year-old man took to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**h*le’ thread to share a similar experience with his wife of five years, Stacey, with whom he shares two children. He has three children with his ex-wife Hannah whom he supports up to this day. But even before he and his new wife decided to marry, they both agreed that his children were his sole responsibility.
“I (M 39) have been married to my wife Stacey (F 30) for 5 years and we have 2 children together. I also share 3 children with my ex-wife Hannah (F 37). Ever since Stacey and I got together she has made it very clear to me that my 3 children are mine and Hannah’s responsibility, not hers,” he began.
For the last five years, the couple didn’t have any problems with the setup until the situation affected the husband. “This has worked out well so far, but lately it has been taking a toll on me,” he said.
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While the wife agreed that the husband could support his children from his previous marriage, she also started making demands after they had their first child – and that included giving her the same amount of money the ex-wife receives from the husband.
While he understood it was all about keeping things “fair” at home, he still had to pay other household expenses such as a mortgage, utilities, food, and his car on top of the money he provided for his family. Then again, his wife also pays for the majority of the expenses for their children, which also makes a fair point on the part of his wife.
He went on to share that Stacey has a good relationship with his children but pointed out that whenever his wife purchases anything for his and Hannah’s children, the latter demands him to pay her back for what she had spent on them.
The husband shared a recent family vacation where his wife demanded they pay half of the expenses for their children together but told him to pay on his own the expenses related to his children with Hannah. While he tried to explain that it was going to hurt his finances, he claimed his wife didn’t seem to care at all. “She reiterated that my children are my responsibility,” the husband wrote.
But people started to get torn in half on whom to side with after the husband referred to his and Stacey’s kids as “her kids” when he shared that the latter started contributing money for their kids’ college funds.
For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) – istockphoto.com/skynesher
“To add insult to injury, she recently started contributing money to college funds for her kids, while Hannah and I have nothing saved for our kids’ college,” he said.
The husband’s statement prompted one user to call him out. “Also when he mentions the college fund he first refers to his kids with Stacey as her kids. This makes it seem like he thinks Stacey should be carrying the financial responsibility for their kids because he has 3 from his first marriage,” one user wrote.
The husband said Hannah demanded to start a college fund for their children after finding out about what Stacey did. When he consulted his wife, the latter told him it was fine as long as he put in the same money she had set up for their kids.
He then revealed that he told his wife that he asked her to pay a fair share of the expenses in their household.
“I cannot afford to pay child support, household expenses, and all these miscellaneous expenses that come up for my kids,” he explained.
He went on to point out that Stacey makes more money than him, so she could easily spare money. This prompted his wife to leave the house.
“Stacey blew up and took our children to her parent’s house and I haven’t heard from her in a day and a half. Am I the a**h**e for demanding that she pay her fair share?”
People then started to label him an ‘a**h**e.’ “What are you bringing to the table here? Is it just more children you can’t afford to support and don’t do the work to care for?” one user said.
